Summer Movie Preview: 35 films worth talking about

I didn’t really get much of an opportunity to throw in my two cents on movies in what turned out to be my last issue of the IDS WEEKEND on summer movies. But the typical problem I have with summer movie previews is the necessity to write at length about things I’m only speculating about (I have no inside sources as an amateur critic), and further to write about them objectively as though I’m genuinely interested in “Friends With Benefits.”

But this is my blog, so I’m going to ramble on about anything and everything I feel like. And I thought a creative way to do that would be to break up every movie I have thoughts about (not necessarily “interested” in) into rankings and subheads.

What this means is that this list is not extensive to every movie being released this summer. I will cover 35 of over 100 being released, so there are a bunch of films that I simply know nothing about at this stage. Either I haven’t seen trailers for them, they’re Sundance darlings without much more buzz than that or they’re movies that don’t fit in at any extreme on my spectrum, and be they good or bad, I’ll have to withhold my judgment.

Top 5 Movies I’m Genuinely Interested in this Summer

1. The Tree of Life – May 27

Terrence Malick has only made five films in his career stretching back to 1973 with his first film “Badlands.” And following what turned out to be a surprise contender for Best Movie of the Decade according to some critics with “The New World,” he’s been in production on “The Tree of Life,” which just got accepted into Cannes, for years. It stars Brad Pitt, Sean Penn and the newcomer Jessica Chastain in a family drama period piece blended with sci-fi elements, a first for Malick. Pitt plays a father to a boy back in the ’50s and Penn plays the grown up child in modern day. For anyone who’s seen “Days of Heaven,” which is one of the best looking films ever made, you can rest assured that this film will be visually stunning. It is a sure contender for Oscars at the end of the year and destined to live up to all expectations.

2. Hesher – May 13

“Hesher” is a stoner drama starring Joseph Gordon Levitt, Natalie Portman and Rainn Wilson in what looks like one of the oddest but grittiest and most awesome movies of the year. JGL plays the off-the-wall title character helping a young, straight arrow teen who is depressed with his family and life. Portman, who also produces the film, is sporting some thick rimmed glasses and I’m unsure of her role in the film just yet. I’m not familiar with the director, but it’s written by David Michod, who also wrote and directed the very good and gritty “Animal Kingdom.”

3. Submarine – June 3

A simple explanation would be it’s Wes Anderson in Britain, but this super quirky comedy starring British comedian Craig Roberts and Sally Hawkins looks lovely. It’s about a teen desperately trying to lose his virginity while dealing with a step-dad that has recently come into his life. Ben Stiller produces.

4. Crazy, Stupid, Love. – July 29

In the first post-“Office” role for Steve Carell, Carell plays a recently divorced man looking to womanize again. After his wife played by Julianne Moore leaves him, he meets Ryan Gosling as a lady-killer straight man to Carell’s comic foil. At the same time, Gosling also begins falling in love with Emma Stone (isn’t she a little young, 23, for the somewhat older Gosling, 30?). The concept sounds tired, but the trailer looks really good, and the cast also includes Marisa Tomei and Kevin Bacon, so there’s a lot to look forward to.

5. The Beaver – May 6

I still think this looks like “Mr. Hat: The Herbert Garrison Story,” but Mel Gibson actually went Method for this film, actually walking around with the beaver and talking to people (which is actually low on the list of crazy Mel Gibson stuff) to prepare for Jodie Foster’s film. This is her third feature but her first in 16 years, and the cast also includes Foster, Anton Yelchin (“Star Trek”) and Jennifer Lawrence (“Winter’s Bone”).

Top 10 Movies I’m still interested in due to, at the very least, principle

1. Super 8 – June 10

I wasn’t big on “Star Trek,” J.J. Abrams last feature, even though everyone else in the galaxy was, and although “Super 8” looks to have a similar aesthetic style, people are comparing its initial mystique to the likes of “E.T.” It is original, and it’ll probably look cool, so I’m game.

2. Beginners – June 3

“Beginners” is a quirky dramedy starring Ewan McGregor, Christopher Plummer as his widowed and recently announced gay father, and Melanie Laurent of “Inglourious Basterds” as McGregor’s love interest. Plummer is looking to get out in the world along with his son, and McGregor gets a dog that speaks in subtitles as his companion. Fun!

3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II – July 15

To say I’m excited for the last “Harry Potter” movie is an overstatement, but the last one wasn’t bad and I’m not going to give up on this franchise I’ve invested so much time, money and did I say time on for so long, only to end on a cliffhanger. Let’s just hope that drawn out battle between Harry and Voldy doesn’t suck, nor does the epilogue.

4. One Day – July 8

Lone Scherfig could’ve been nominated for Best Director for her lovely “An Education,” and this film starring Jim Sturgess and Anne Hathaway with a British accent follows this couple on the same day over numerous years in their lives. The trailer looks a little trite, but the pedigree is good.

5. The Help – August 12

Emma Stone is shaping up to be a real movie star. Here she’s going for the Sandra Bullock in “The Blind Side” vote in a civil rights era film centered in Jackson, Mississippi. Stone’s character intends to write a book on black housemaids in the South, turning a lot of heads as she does. It’s based on a popular book from 2009 and also stars Viola Davis, Allison Janney and Sissy Spacek.

6. Winnie the Pooh – July 15

The original “Winnie the Pooh” is a classic, and this is supposed to be a throwback to those lovely shorts, especially since this feature is less than 70 minutes long.

7. The Hangover Part II – May 26

People LOVE “The Hangover.” Any movie intended to follow it up is destined to not be as original under the pretense that it is a sequel, and with a trip to Bangkok, they’re really going big to make up for that. It could be alright.

8. Horrible Bosses – July 8

I haven’t seen a trailer for this, but it stars Jason Bateman (who I love, even though outside “Arrested Development” he’s never done anything good) and Jason Sudeikis (Floyd!) in a quest to murder their bosses played by Kevin Spacey, Jennifer Aniston and Colin Farrell.

9. Our Idiot Brother – August 26

This one received some buzz at Sundance and, like my last pick, has an equally high comedic pedigree. Paul Rudd plays a stoner with a heart of gold (don’t they all?) in this indie comedy.

10. The Guard – July 29

This too was at Sundance, and somehow it’s a comedy, but it stars Brendan Gleeson as an Irish patrolman along with Don Cheadle. Sounds like a set up for a thriller or something, but both actors have proven to be funny and quirky in the past.

Top 10 Movies I’m Not Interested in But Probably Should Be and May Very Well End Up Liking

1. Larry Crowne – July 1

This movie is directed, written and starred in by Tom Hanks, but the trailer looks SO GENERIC AND BAD. He’s a man-child going back to school to get a degree, and in one of his classes he meets and falls in love with his teacher, Julia Roberts. I’m not even entirely sure what decade this movie is from.

2. Cars 2 – June 24

I’ve never seen a trailer for a Pixar movie that literally insulted my intelligence. I actually like “Cars” quite a bit, despite playing like an above average Dreamworks movie, but to make another one without Paul Newman, and then add a James Bond subplot with Michael Caine as an Aston Martin? Ugh.

3. Thor – May 6

We’re really scraping the bottom of the superhero barrel now. Kenneth Branagh, known for his Shakespeare adaptations, directs the movie about the alien Norse God. It also stars Natalie Portman, but then, what isn’t she in this year?

4. Green Lantern – June 17

Director Martin Campbell (“Casino Royale”) is going for a cross between a gritty action movie and a sci-fi visual wonder with “Green Lantern,” finally putting Ryan Reynolds in tight spandex. Still though, there’s something really weird about a guy who fights with a ring or…

5. Captain America: The First Avenger – July 22

… a shield. I’m really just bitter about this because Marvel will shamelessly do anything to build up this “Avenger” franchise. I’m also aware of all this irony that Chris Evans has already played The Human Torch and that there were a bunch of other people in mind for the role that could’ve been better and that some people were clamoring for Jon Krasinski at one point. God, just come out and fail to live up to expectations already.

6. Midnight in Paris – May 20

It’s a new Woody Allen movie. Well, there’s a new Woody Allen movie every year. This one, like all the others, has a really great cast and pedigree. The trailer looks decent. What sets it apart from good Woody Allen and bad? I have no idea. Critics will have to be the first word on this one.

7. Everything Must Go – May 13

It would be refreshing to see Will Ferrell not in a multi-million dollar comedy with an absurd concept. This is an indie-comedy based on a short story about a man kicked out of his house, with all of his stuff moved to the lawn, who then proceeds to have a yard sale right there. But it is Will Ferrell…

8. 30 Minutes or Less – August 12

Presumably, it would be great to see the Oscar nominated Jesse Eisenberg in anything following “The Social Network,” but that movie is the follow-up from the overrated “Zombieland.” It’s a bank heist movie with a ridiculous plot and also stars Danny McBride and Aziz Ansari. Great, two of my favorite character actors (cough, cough).

9. Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark – August 12

This is a remake of a ’70s B-Horror movie, and it’s written by Guillermo Del Toro, but that’s where his involvement ends.

10. Higher Ground – August 12

This is the directorial debut of Vera Farmiga (“Up in the Air”) and is supposedly a spiritual family film, but after debuting at Sundance to horrible reviews and a painfully low score of 3.2 on IMDB, I’m less assured.

Top 10 Movies I’m Not Interested in AT ALL, Will Definitely Be Terrible and Will Probably Make a Heck of A Lot of Money

1. Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon – July 1

“Transformers 2” was one of the biggest piles of garbage I’ve ever seen, and it’s reputation that preceded it as simply the biggest, most overblown, most expensive and highest grossing movie ever made was just the last nail in the coffin for this movie’s place in bad movie history. And of course there would be a sequel. Did you know on the moon landing they discovered a Transformer and have been covering it up for decades?

2. Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides – May 20

From the director of “Chicago” comes, “POTC 4.” Oh boy. Honestly, I may have to give “2” and “3” another look before I can really judge, but frankly, I don’t want to. Now this is strictly a Johnny Depp-acting-quirky-vehicle, and that holds no appeal for me anymore.

3. X-Men First Class – June 3

Although they haven’t all been tapped yet, “X-Men” has more room for sequels, prequels and reboots than any other franchise ever made. The last two “X-Men” movies, i.e. the third one and the Wolverine prequel, were flat out bad. This one intends to rewrite the history of the Cuban Missile Crisis with a young Charles Xavier and Magneto. Newsflash! No one cares what they were like as kids! They’re cool as fully formed characters rolling around in wheel chairs and manipulating metal as the leaders of all the mutants. It’s also directed by Matthew Vaughn of “Kick-Ass,” which was terrible. No thanks.

4. Cowboys and Aliens – July 29

A full audience at the premiere of “Harry Potter 7” let out a huge laugh when the title for this movie appeared at the end of the trailer. It’s just a ridiculous high concept, even if Spielberg is producing, Jon Favreau (“Iron Man”) is directing and it stars James Bond and Indiana Jones.

5. The Smurfs – July 29

Do yourself a favor and look at the cast list of this movie. It’s the oddest assortment of celebrities this side of “30 Rock,” and they’re all appearing in a shameless kids movie on outdated cartoon characters.

6. Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World – August 19

People are still trying to convince me Robert Rodriguez is a good director. He’s directed four of these “Spy Kids” movies now, and these kids have to be getting into their 20s, even in the franchise’s time line.

7. Conan the Barbarian – August 19

Do people honestly like the Arnold Schwarzenegger version of this? Did this need a reboot? Does Ron Perlman need to be in it? Doesn’t the name Conan exclusively belong to one person now?

8. Rise of the Planet of the Apes – August 5

This is apparently intended as canon, and in a way it’s not a reboot at all. It really just looks like an action movie where apes attack the planet and stars James Franco. One selling point is that Andy Serkis, better known as Gollum, has a big part in this, but the trailer looks pretty lame.

9. Mr. Poppers Penguins – June 17

This will forever be known as the movie that could’ve been the next Noah Baumbach project. Now it will forever be “Ace Ventura 3.” All hope was lost when I saw Jim Carrey dancing with penguins to the tune “Ice, Ice, Baby.”

10. Zookeeper – July 1

The tagline for this movie is “Welcome to the Jungle” and stars Kevin James. You put two and two together.

This was a big post and took a lot of time, but I hope this serves as a reasonable guide for you all, and I look forward to doing another one of these come fall.